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Thursday, September 16, 2021

Hackers stream round the clock porn on to Waverley Station notice board

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Auchtermuchty hackers have taken over the notice board in Waverley Station and are streaming filthy porn movies on to it around the clock.

Station managers are unable to do anything about it as access has been blocked by the clever hackers who have changed all the usernames and passwords.

“This is what happens when you fail to change your password on a regular basis” bemoaned station chief Mimi Strain

“One of our admin team’s password was ‘password’! Can you believe that!? We think that’s how this crack team of Auchtermuchty hackers gained access.”

“You’re sure that the hackers are from Auchtermuchty?” I ask Miss Strain.

Auchtermuchty Bowling Club

“Yes, well we’ve done some of our own counter hacking, if you will, and found that their IP address led us to the Auchtermuchty Bowling Club”

“We called them up and of course they denied all knowledge of any hacking activity going on from their premises. The only ones there at the time were the barman and some guy who was too drunk to even remember his own name.”

“So how have your passengers been taking it? Please pardon my pun” I ask Miss Strain

“Well there have been a few complaints, especially from the elderly, but the biggest problem has been passengers being late for their trains.”

“They get more than a little titillated by what’s on display and forget all about their train journeys. So we have to make more regular announcements reminding passengers as to why they are actually here.”

“Some folk have even brought deck chairs in along with packed lunches or they just grab a meal deal from Boots or a coffee from Costa and take a seat to enjoy the show. Unbelievable really!”

“We’ve even had to raise the price of using the toilet from 30p to 50p to over the extra cleaning and restocking costs due to the sharp rise in usage since this all began” smirks Miss Strain.

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“We are at a bit of a loss as what to do to be honest. We can’t turn it off as it’s all connected to the main train departure arrival notice board and that would cause chaos.”

“Could you not cover it up with a sheet or something?” I ask Miss Strain.

“We did discuss that but a few of the lads were very, if not overly, concerned it might cause a fire hazard and persuaded us to abandon that idea.”

“So for now it’s an Over 18 only train station and all under 18s are being redirected to Haymarket station. Just until we get this mess all sorted out” says Miss Strain who then returned to her deck chair next to her other colleagues in time for the beginning of the latest offering Forrest Pump.

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